Sharing – Portrait of an Adoption

Separation Anxiety in the Adopted Child

Once again, I link to her blog. This is actually an older post (Feb 2011), but she references it in a new one.

My partner and I are both adopted. I have quite a few friends who are. We flock to each other, but I’m not sure how that radar is built. Jamie and I have discussed how it’s different to be adopted. I was brought home from the adoption center at 6 weeks old. I’ve known forever that I was adopted. I’m glad I know.

I understand Katie’s feelings that her mom describes as separation anxiety. I do know my birthmom, but we rarely see each other. Distance is a factor, I’m apparently a bit of a gypsy (from CT, to Philly, now in Boston).

From a shared post (“Afraid of Being Left Behind“)

On a primal level, what kind of damage does being left, being abandoned, DO to a person? Does it shape, color, define all relationships that person has for the rest of his or her life?

I have to say yes.

A lot of you will say (think), BUT! Your parents (my “adoptive” parents) wanted you so much! You weren’t abandoned; you weren’t tossed aside by the one person who is supposed to love you forever!

Well. That’s mostly true. My parents wanted a baby. They got me. And I’ll be the first one to say that all three of us were LUCKY. I am so glad that I ended up where I did; where I am supposed to be. My parents are wonderful people.But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I started out as unwanted, a mistake.

I wasn’t supposed to happen.

Her blog is here:

That sums it up, probably better than I can. That anxiety (and even a disconnect now that I’m an adult) doesn’t go away. Adopted kids are just different.


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