Once again, I link to her blog. This is actually an older post (Feb 2011), but she references it in a new one.
My partner and I are both adopted. I have quite a few friends who are. We flock to each other, but I’m not sure how that radar is built. Jamie and I have discussed how it’s different to be adopted. I was brought home from the adoption center at 6 weeks old. I’ve known forever that I was adopted. I’m glad I know.
I understand Katie’s feelings that her mom describes as separation anxiety. I do know my birthmom, but we rarely see each other. Distance is a factor, I’m apparently a bit of a gypsy (from CT, to Philly, now in Boston).
From a shared post (“Afraid of Being Left Behind“)
On a primal level, what kind of damage does being left, being abandoned, DO to a person? Does it shape, color, define all relationships that person has for the rest of his or her life?
I have to say yes.
A lot of you will say (think), BUT! Your parents (my “adoptive” parents) wanted you so much! You weren’t abandoned; you weren’t tossed aside by the one person who is supposed to love you forever!
Well. That’s mostly true. My parents wanted a baby. They got me. And I’ll be the first one to say that all three of us were LUCKY. I am so glad that I ended up where I did; where I am supposed to be. My parents are wonderful people.But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I started out as unwanted, a mistake.
I wasn’t supposed to happen.
Her blog is here: http://www.millermissy.blogspot.com/
That sums it up, probably better than I can. That anxiety (and even a disconnect now that I’m an adult) doesn’t go away. Adopted kids are just different.